Sunday, 23 May 2010

Weeeee . . . Holidays . . . . .

Off on hols for a fortnight in a few hours. Must admit I want it to be snowing when I go away to piss people off or at a minimum pissing down but we are in the middle of scorchio at the moment so I can't wind anyone up.
Don't get to see the sea much in Brum (unless global warming gets a move on) so can't wait to get going.

Ended up $350 up for May but I've been playing like a proper twat the past week and can't blame bad play by any villain, suck outs etc and I have lost half the $$ I gained playing pissed a week ago. (Going to have 1 more $13 90 man KO around 5ish before we go to the airport to see if I can leave on a positive)

Bankroll at just under $1.4k and though I hate setting targets I could do with getting it to $2k before my next hol (last week July) and approx $5k by Xmas so I can withdraw $3k to pay off some bills and have a free Xmas.

Looking forward to a couple of weeks away from the laptop and see if I come back hungry to play.

I wish anyone going to the WSOP all the best.
Now where are those mini Speedo's??

2 jokes today . . .

The lead actor in our local pantomime "Aladdin" was arse raped on stage last night.
To be fair the audience did try to warn him!!

A woman is given a hospital tour. She looks in a room and sees a man wanking. "Thats awful" she says to a Doctor. He explains that the man has an incurable condition. His testicles fill with semen so fast that if he doesn't have a wank at least 5 times a day he is in agony. "Poor man." says the woman.
In the next room she spots a nurse sucking a mans cock.
"Explain that then" she says to the Doctor.
He replies "The same condition but he's with BUPA!!"

Thanks for reading - Gav

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Donating some back . . . .

Have given approx $150 back since a winning Saturday but tonight I have seen some proper shit. I'm obviously not drunk enough in the week as at weekends I must play with a little more recklessness and aggression.
Was playing in a 135 man $11 Rush tourney and was double the average and got dealt AA and raised to 700 (blinds 100/200). Folds to big stack who calls and the blinds fold. Flop Kxx. I bet 700 and he raises all in. He has K8 and turn K river 8. Fuck off but I suppose we have good and bad and that was only one of a few hands that have got on my tits over the past few days.
Okay I'll piss off now I've had my rant.
FT Bankroll @ $1.6K so a few 100 up for the month so not all bad but I want moooore!!

Joke -

A Pakistani has died while training to be a sky diver. Sources at the National English Skydivers Association School have stated that they have no idea how his snorkel and flippers failed to open!!

Sunday, 16 May 2010

Gotta FT . . .

Go out . . . . .get drunk . . . play a few . . . .win a 90 manner $26 for nearly $600 FT KO tyvm . . . .SOTV alive weeeeeeeeeeeee

Still can't get out the doghouse tho!!

Got a Granddaughter due 11/07/1o and Grandson due 07/09/10 and $$ can't hurt lol so congrats to my lads.
I might be a moaning fukka but I'm enjoying the way it's working out as its maturing them. (But not moi!!)
Love my lads loads and can't wait. . . .

And this is pure class. A lesson to us all . . . ~You may have seen it , , , ,

Our Clare

Joke . .. .

2 fish in a tank, 1st says to the second
"Any idea how to drive this fuckin thing!!"

Good luck

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Deals and Diddling . . .

When I heard the result was a hung parliament I thought there may have been a rush on timber and rope at B&Q but apparently it just means that they have to do a deal with the people they've been slagging off to decide who gets power.
I preferred my first thought to be honest especially with the expenses fiddling fuckers and cocks who can't check their mikes are turned off. Imagine the dopey fucker making the same mistake at the G8.

Pokers a bit up and down at the moment. I don't think I'm rolled for the $26 90 man KO's yet so will have to stick to the $13 ones. Played $100 split between them last night before giving up as I couldn't win a hand even when miles in front so thought I'd better just call it a night.
Still up for the month but looking forward to my hols in a fortnight as it forces me not to play which I'm shit at doing on my own.
Good luck all . . .

Joke -

A couple are driving home and run over a badger. They get out of the car and find that it's still breathing but freezing cold.
Husband says "Put it between your legs and warm it up".
His Wife replies "But it's all wet and it stinks".
Hubby replies "Well hold the badgers fucking nose then!!"

Monday, 3 May 2010

A decent season . . .

Well Brum can't be overtaken for 9th in the Prem and can't get 8th so all in all a very very good 1st season back in the top league.
Next season will be the big test as we need a new keeper as Joe Hart will definately be going back to Man City and we need 2 strikers who might be able to find the net regularly. I'm not sure whether it's worth keeping Benitez as, even though he's a handful for defenders, his strike rate is shyte and we could put the £8m towards better.

On the poker front I keep losing and then getting back the shark status on Sharkscope but could do with being a couple of hundred $$ in front so it stays there. The thing is S/Scope doesn't take into account knockout $$ which would help. Spent most of the Steps I had and entered a $70+$5 knockout MTT on FT with the main one and got 5 knockouts to get the $$ back but went out when 90+/400+ when ran 99 into QQ when to be fair I knew I was beat but couldn't find the fold after raising and being put all in. I should have waited for a better spot as the top 45 got paid but made a stupid mistake. Oh well. Hopefully I'll learn from it. $150 up for the month and will be playing the PokerPlayer freeroll, the SuperSeries on WillHill and a couple of $26 90 man knockouts later as I've done the family bit all day which was thoroughly enjoyable and has got me some poker brownie points.

Hope you're all winning.

Joke -

A man and his Wife are having a stroll around the zoo. As they walk past the gorilla cage they notice he has a hard-on and is gazing at the mans Wife.
The man says "Lift your skirt and tease him". The gorilla goes mental.
"Get your tits out!" The gorilla goes berserk.
The Husband opens the cage and throws his Wife in . . . . .
"Now tell him you've got a fuckin headache!!"