Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Happy New Year and 2009 resolutions.....

And another year passes. Roll on 2009….

2008 was my best year to date with just over £6k profit so more than happy with that.
Used it to pay off some bills, buy a laptop and have a holiday but tbh am thinking I should have left myself about a £1k bankroll as opposed to the £300. (Won’t be making that mistake again).

Will struggle to reach these heights in 2009 as I will be playing alot less but hopefully this might improve my game so you never know.

Will be starting 2009 with circa £400 unless I have a decent win or major fook up in the next 2 days.

What are the objectives for 2009?

Make a profit whilst playing less poker due to other commitments

Not to cash out unless really needed so that I can play at bigger levels.
I am also going to enter all of the freerolls on offer via the Poker Player and Inside Poker magazines to have a chance of playing in decent prize money live events.

Rules for 2009 poker:-

1) Don’t play if I could be having quality time with my Son – 10% gone (normally play when he is in bed)
2) Don’t play if I am tired – 55% of the time
3) Don’t play if I should be doing an assignment – 15% of the time
4) Don’t play if pissed– 13% of the time
5) Don’t play if Wife is giving me evils – 5% of the time
All in all I figure I have 10 minutes left to play poker so why the fuck have I got a blog?? J

I hope it’s been a successful year for you as well on a personal and financial basis.

Cheers, thanks for reading and good luck.


Joke -

Credit Crunch - The married version..

Husband and Wife shopping in Tesco. Man picks up box of Stella and sticks it in the trolley. "What do you think ur doing?" asks Wife. "They're on offer. 24 cans for £10" says Hubby. "Put them back we can't afford it!"

A few aisles later the Wife picks up £20 face cream and puts it in the trolley. "What do you think ur doing?" asks Husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful" she replies. "So does 24 cans of Stella and it's half the fuckin price!!" says hubby running to the previous aisle.

Happy New Year all.

Saturday, 27 December 2008

I'm a Yo-Yo now....

Up and down. Went from "Super hot" to "Super tilt" if thats the right terminology on Sharkscope. Had a cracking Xmas though with a few winners on the geegee's including Pressgang who did some of the most erratic jumping I've seen in a while and still won. Won my previous p1ssed up losses back and proceeded to give most of it back again on Xmas night but not to worry I know I will get there.
Going to wind the year down playing small MTT's and freerolls I think as I am happy enough with the profit for the year and am not exactly on fire at the moment :(.
Xmas Day was a laugh with working half day, the Mother-in-Law here for the night (just kept pouring Babycham's down her neck till she went to sleep), and the youngest had a great day.
On a funny (daft) point my middle lad had had a 3rd tattoo with "In God we trust" on the back of his neck (under the collar line thank fuck) and didn't know it was the national motto of the States. WTF do these kids do with their brains. He probably tossed his out of his bellend a few years ago but he had the piss taken out of him mercilessly.
Probably makes us sound like a right bunch of pikey's but when your lad asks his Mom for £40 for a pair of jeans and comes back inked up there's not a fat lot you can do ffs.
Thats enough for now as the taxi should be here in a minute to take my liver out for more punishment.
Hope you all had a good one
7 Englishmen and an Irishmen in a rape lineup. The victim walks in and Paddy steps forward and shouts "That's her the grumpy bitch!!"

Saturday, 20 December 2008


Serves me right...
Ignored all advice given on RTR. Come back from footie alittle pi%%ed and just spunked $80 on Full tilt thinking I was better than I am and more sober playing wayyyy over roll entitlement.

Gutted .....

Took me long enough to write that much..


It was Xmas and the blonde Wife was waiting as the binmen pulled up. One by one she shagged them & finally it was the drivers turn. Instead she give him £10.
Disappointed the driver said "Whats this for ?"
"for Xmas" she replied. My husband said
"Give the driver a tenner and fuck the rest......"

Happy Xmas

Friday, 19 December 2008

Levelling out....

Breaking even at the moment playing STT's on Full Tilt.
Should be alot better but breaking even is better than losing.
However Bankroll is falling behind the £500 target with £280 on Will Hill and $190 on Full Tilt.
Joined raisetheriver this week and will be posting on there shortly asking for advice on how to improve bankroll and what to play when short of time as I am going to be able to play far less hours in 2009 and still want to make it worthwhile.

You would think I 'd know the answer to improving the bankroll (win more money than you fookin lose) but I need a reminder and a confidence boost :).

Looking forward to Xmas now and apart from working 1/2 days Xmas Day and Boxing Day am now free until 30th December and with assignments done and dusted I can concentrate on poker for the next 3 weeks.

My youngest is getting all excited and it is good to see and I'm going to make the most of it as they grow up really quick and in a couple of years he will just be communicating through grunts like the other 2 did.

Not alot else to say really so unless I win something (anything pleeeease!!!) I will probably leave posting until between Xmas and New Year.

Hope everybody has a good one and a profitable New Year.



A duck walks into a bar...
"Got any Bread?"
Barman says "no!"
"Got any bread?"
"Got any bread?"
"Got any bread?"
"No, We haven't got any bread! Ask me again and I'll nail your fuckin beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a bird!.."
"Got any nails?"
"Got any bread?"

To alot of people that might sound shyt. It might just be my sense of humour

Sunday, 14 December 2008

Placed in the Bloggerment & apologies.....

Just been placed in the Bloggerment....
Okay there were only 7 entries and I came 3rd for $7 for my $5.50 outlay.
However as I was 0/5 on cashes this is progress so humour me ;)

Apologies for not saying "gg" etc to the final 2 but I am still getting used to Full Tilt and the fooking table closes as soon as a games finishes.

Am giving up the majority of MTT's for a bit as I need to concentrate on bankroll and the easiest way is on STT's.

Still nearly £50 down but need to stop the rot.
I like the STT's on Full Tilt as you just play ABC and seem to make the frame at the mo.

On a different topic watched the end of X-Factor last night and found it funny/amazing that the winner (Alex) was sooo tearful when she won. I would have been shouting "Fookin get in" and asking Cowell for my £1m advance with my knob out. (Okay they would have needed to zoom in).

Joke - Have ummed and arred about this but its going in so apologies if it causes any offence.

Man goes into a sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll. Shop keeper says "male or female?" Man says "Female". Shop keeper says "Black or White?" Man says "White". Shop keeper says "Christian or Muslim?" Man says "wtf has religion got to do with it?" Shop keeper says "The Muslim blows itself up!!"

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Not learning a fat lot….

Things aren’t going so well on the poker front at the moment.
I seem to have a good start and then either make daft errors or get rivered.
I could do with playing the Crimbo value tournaments and if things stay the same I might force myself to have a break in January unless my fortunes turn around (A couple of wins or decent cashes always recharge the batteries). This run has coincided with me starting a part time degree course as I have assignments to hand in and am pushed for time (having not been in education for 25 years its a bit of a culture shock) but this might just be a shyt excuse for piss poor play.

I won’t give up playing poker as I enjoy it and with the stakes I play it is a good night and I am never going to go broke. Have read a few blogs by people who are struggling with their demons and it gives you a reality check about the little problems with consistency that are gnawing away at your mind.

Am £60 down for the month (+ a couple of footie bets have gone west) at the moment and currently have a roll of £320 in Hills and $120 on Full Tilt so need to claw a little back to aim at pushing towards £500 for the New Year bankroll.

Would happily settle for a £100 payout in a tourney at the moment. I wonder if
ukgatsby does training videos. (Not the sort of him prancing around with his leotard on though).

That’s all for now. Good luck


Apologies for the lack of a joke this week but I have not got any that are suitable for posting.

Friday, 5 December 2008


Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This PokerStars tournament is a No Limit Texas Hold’em event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code:

Thought I might as well post as well as outting the above on the blog.

Still not alot happening for me on the poker front though I did play 4 x 9 player $10 STT last night on Full Tilt and finished 3rd 3 times and 1st once having thrown away $10 on a 90 player before that. I was not liking Full Tilt but have now got used to the fact that the STT's are loose until it gets to 6 left then tightens up considerably. Have also learnt a little discipline and a bit about equity so last night did not rush anything and it worked. I would like to think that this might be consistent in future games but time will tell.

However put a few quid on Histon/Arsenal double last week and managed to scoop £168 which has boosted my WillHill roll to nearly £400 to compensate for some of the poker losses.

Not sure what is happening at WillHill at the moment as they have cut some of their decent guarantees (global economy might be a reason) but have also chopped the £4 19:00 which seems a bit inane as there was no guarantee involved and means that on most days there is no small stakes MTT's between 18:30 and 20:00 which may encourage their clients to bugger off elsewhere.

On a lighter note their was some mad comment left on F-Badgers last post that has unfortunately been removed by the blog administrator. F-Badgers blog makes good reading but the comment was a rant of gigantic proportions and was longer than the post he was commenting on and completely OTT - Hilarious but totally uncalled for. Shame its gone really as it was so ridic it just made the anonymous commenter look a twat.

Good luck all

Joke -

Just bought a scouse advent calender - fuckin typical all the windows are boarded up and some bastards nicked all the chocolate.