Saturday, 28 March 2009

My Son needs to grow up........

Got a text from my 2 older lads Mom yesterday afternoon (rarely good news) advising that there had been a bit of a drama and Callum had been arrested.
Rang up to find that the Police had done a spot check on him and found 11 wraps of weed so had arrested him for possession with intent to supply. I should point out at this point that he is 15. I rang the Police Station and advised that I would act as appropriate adult and they advised that he had requested a Duty Solicitor and that I should be at the station in a couple of hours. Went round to see his Mom and she was in bits as the Police had stomped round and turned his room over to try and find either more drugs or paraphenalia (prob spelt wrong). Anyways there was nothing found but with 2 younger kids and the worry of knowing that this is a bit more than his normal piss taking she was in bits. I don't think kids realise the affects and impacts their behaviour has on others. He does now btw as I made sure that we all sat down and said our piece (his piece was alot shorter than ours naturally).
However the Duty Solicitor was the best decision he's made for a while as he not only advised him the best way to answer the questions to minimise any charges, not put himself in any strife by advising he did not want to divulge where he bought it from and get away from the intent to supply element but also advised him of the sort of sentence he can expect should he continue along this path as he had had numerous clients who had followed this route.
Tbh Callum was shocked and even though he said it had been for his own personal use I don't think any of us believed him but he still denies that it was for anything other than himself and provided the seriousness sinks in then we might as well draw a line under it.
Now some of you might wonder why I'm not banging on about the fact that he smokes the shit but tbh even though his Brother had told me that he had the odd smoke we had had the drink, drugs, smoke chat and you can't follow them everywhere and this situation sort of trumped the smoking issue anyway.
Anyways with the solicitors help the senior police bods decided that it was best all round to give him a reprimand which I hope has done the trick. If it happens again he is a fookin idiot as the solicitor told him and the custody officer agreed that he will be getting stopped and searched alot more in future as they will feel it is fully justified.
On the way home I checked that he did not owe anyone for the said bags of weed and that no-one was putting him under any pressure and did the fatherly chat thing about what sort of people drug dealers are and that they would think nothing of hurting him to make a point to others.

Moody post I know but life ain't just poker which is shit by the way.

Joke -

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says 'What are you supposed to be? The man says "A premature ejaculation ." "What?" says the woman. The man says "I've just come in my pants."

Sunday, 22 March 2009

First impressions of ipoker.....

Okay so the change-0ver has happened...

I am posting this as the platform has gone down and I can't get on (bit of a pisser as I can see my monicker on the Bluesq site gradually blinding away. Oh well should get the stakes back with a bit of luck and half decent customer service)

Anyways on the plus side there is decent traffic which I need to get used to as playing against 1500+ rather than 200+ has cost me a few quid but as I wasn't winning anyway and was expecting a transitional loss so be it. Do you approach playing larger fields in the same way. I'm a natural TAG until I get bored and then I'm a natural twat.

On the negative I rather liked crypto as you could upload your own pic and sort of personalise stuff and it was an advantage knowing your opponents as you played them day in day out.

These are my first thoughts anyways...


An Irish woman has just been kicked off Who Wants To Be A Millionaire for masterbating. She did'nt quite grasp the fastest finger first. :)

Hope your doing well


Wednesday, 18 March 2009

New WillHill table name....

Just downloaded the new WillHill ipoker software and as with others my original username had been taken.

I will now be know as fuktheriva (Bit apt really with current suck outs and its just asking for comments).

Good luck

Joke -

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him. "My name is Carmen" she said. " Beautiful name" he replies. " Yes I gave it to myself as it reflects my two favourite things - Cars and men" she winks. "Whats your name?"
"Beercunt!" was the reply.

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Short post.....

.. Things are much the same on the poker front regarding on a downswing and now level(ish) for the year. The difference between this and the last post is that I am getting them in ahead the majority of the time and getting beat but can take a bit of positive in the fact that my judgement is coming back (not much tho as I am still getting beat).
I feel my game is all about confidence but when you are confident that the turn and river will fook you it's not quite the confidence you need.
Anyways bollox to this I will just have to keep going and wait until things turn in my favour.

Got mailed this clip which is an inspiration.

Joke -

Delivery man breaks down on the M4 so he flags Paddy down. He says to him "I've got 6 monkeys in the back of my van. I'll give you £100 if you'll take them to Bristol Zoo for me". Paddy agrees. 2 hours later he sees Paddy driving the other way with the monkeys still in the back! He flags him down and shouts across "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo?" Paddy says "I did but we had £30 left so I'm taking them to the pictures!!"

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Shit happens......

But why so fookin often lol.
Thing is I'm bringing it all on myself by playing p1ssed, tired or both.
Have posted more than once to remind myself not to do it but when the world is blurry its difficult to read let alone play pokerage.

Oh well. Short post as I need another beer.....

Joke -

Two gay men were in a dark alley when a policeman shone his torch into it. One of them ran off but the policeman grabbed the other. "You dirty bastard. If I'd of caught your mate I would have shoved my truncheon right up his arse". A voice from the alley called out "Yoohoo I'm behind the wheelie bin".

Monday, 2 March 2009

And so to March.....

Very slow month in February with about a £50 profit which equates to about 50p an hour. If this carries on I will have to invade the Asian markets and start sewing footballs or boots to supplement my play.

The best enjoyment I am having in the poker atm is playing the Apat online National League where I have been in the Birmingham team. TBH the format and banter is a good craic and it makes me concentrate as I feel that the team might be reliant on me for a few points here and there. The games are only every other Sunday and I managed a 3rd yesterday which got me a few $ and helped the team get to joint top of the league. If anyone out there plays in the Central league I play under the moniker SOTV1875 so say hello.
Other than that I just seem to be plugging away and then donking my chips off when I get bored in MTT's or fooking up STT's even though I know the correct standard format to play.

Anyways a relatively short post.
Hope you are all enjoying yourselves...


Woman buys a wall mirror from B&Q. The Manager says "Do you want a screw for that?"
"No" she said "but I'd suck your cock for a lawn mower!!"