Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Joe Hart for England!!??

. . I don't think there's a better English keeper atm. The fella has helped Birmingham go 11 games unbeaten (something we've not done in over 100 years) and has made some cracking saves along the way. I think 9 clean sheets in 20 Premiership games speaks volumes.

I honestly think that instead of saying "He's definately one for the future" players should be given a chance if they deserve it. Certainly in a friendly or 2 leading up to South Africa which are the games to try players out and have a closer look at them.

To be fair the partnership of Dann and Johnson are looking strong and the midfield of a rejuvenated Bowyer and Ferguson have been class. The one player who seems in and out and can be annoying is McFadden but when he is on his game he can turn matches but if you can't be consistent and confident when the team are flying when can you do it??

With Man U (h), Portsmouth (a) and Chelsea (a) our next 3 Premiership games the run might be over soon but they have surprised me so far so you never know . . .

On the poker front I have had a £100 loss over Xmas mainly due to a pissed up Boxing Day but you can't have everything. I've taken £500 out of the account for some bills and still have £4k bills to pay so will be taking $500 out everytime I get to £1.5k for a while.

Have had a decent enough 2009 though not as profitable as 2008 but as I will be starting 2010 with a minimum of £1k bankroll as opposed to £300 in 2009 I hope to have a better start.
Plans for 2010 errmm - Win more, play more MTT to win more, get to grips with Thunder STT's which Acornman gave me tips on a month ago.

Joke (apologies)
I was round at my new girlfriends for dinner the other day . .as she was cooking she asked me to turn the veg on, apparently fingering her disabled Sister in her wheelchair wasn't the right thing to do . . .

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Friday, 18 December 2009

Found a MTT that likes me . . .

The 17:00 $10+$1 $4k guaranteed on i-poker seems to like me atm.
I've entered 3 times as I've been on earlies and come 6/412 for $165, 45/424 for $20 and today 3/444 for $355 (my JJ beaten aipf v A5). Will win it eventually.
Not bad as I've been breaking even on the SnG,s over the last 100+ games.

Thanks for the comments on the previous post.
My middle lads (Callum) solicitor reckons the CPS will drop the prosecution or he will get a referral order still if they carry on and he pleads Guilty before the trial.
On the baby front I've had a chat with both Callum and his GF and said that I would support them whatever they decide and I feel alot better about the situation than I did even though its a ridic situation to be in at their age and in their circumstances.
I always said I would support my kids through thick and thin but didn't think he would take the thick element so seriously.

Joke -

A fella walks into an Ann Summers shop and asks for a see-through negligee, size 48-50-56. The shop assistant looks at him and asks "Why the fuck would you wanna see through that?!!"

Good luck all

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Fookin Kids . .

Sorry for the length (Haven't had to say that too often if ever),

Neither of my kids had a criminal record until 3 weeks ago and now both will have one.
Eldest (19) decides to "borrow" his Moms car to go to McDonalds. A few problems with this -
1 - He doesn't have a driving licence (therefore no insurance)
2 - He's had 3 pints
3 - His Mom didn't know he was "borrowing" it.
Needless to say he gets pulled (not for speeding, not for driving erratically etc but for it being 1am and avoiding eye contact with the nice policemen driving in the opposite direction).
In short a 12 month ban, £300 fine + costs. The ban could be 8 months if he does an Aquarius course but he didn't have a licence in the 1st place so no point in getting a provisional back early so might as well put the course money towards passing his test.
To cap it his mother had to pay £170 to get the car out the pound they had towed it to.
WP Sir Numbnut.

2nd eldest (16) up for assault and could and should have still not had a record but for his fookin wank solicitor.
Arrived at court early as he needs an adult with him and the first solicitor says that the statements made by the "victims" are all over the place as they can't say who throught the 1st punch and it just reads like it was a typical teenage punchup fuelled by a few drinks. However as he has stated on tape that he punched the other fella twice before it was all over then he might want to consider pleading Guilty and just end up with a 8-12 month referral to Youth Offenders, which when complete, results in no criminal record. (This sounded okay to me as he had already admitted he lamped somebody and he didnt have a mark on him whereas the other lad didn't look too clever so just on photo's alone, in my mind it didn't really matter who started it as the pics would not look good in court).
However when the court broke for lunch his solicitor advised that she was not available in the afternoon and her colleague would be taking over. This fella had a word with Callum and said that the Witness statements were all over the place, contradicting each other, and that he should go not guilty and take his chances. I said that I didn't think it was worth the risk as if found guilty the referral would not be an option but he said that was his advice and Callum took it.
However this now means that he has a 2 day trial with his c0-accused in March so it will be hanging over him/us for another 3 months. TBH Callum wasn't expecting a trial and I ripped the solicitor a new one outside as I said he had just fucked up imo and then he backtracked and said that if we wanted to speak to his colleague and then write to the court to plead guilty it was up to us. Fookin tosspot wanker. It still won't be as easy as just admitting you had a ruck and them letting it go as he has said "not guilty" now so they will not give him the credit for an early guilty plea.

AND to top it all the dopey bollocks has got his girlfriend pregnant. He hasn't had the maturity to tell me yet but his girlfriend told his Mom last week and she told me. If he hasn't got the maturity to tell his Parents about this there is no chance going forward imo.
He's doing a bricklaying apprenticeship, lives with his Mom, and gets £30 EMA grant from college and yet he has told Liz (GF) that he will support her if she wants to have the baby but will not be moving into a council flat as he hasn't had a life yet and has only just left school.
Support a baby on £30 a week????? Wants to have a life????? Grow up Son. It doesn't work like that after the event. FFS.
Mind you after all that my mate said to me that I seemed to be taking it quite calmly.
My reply "It could have been worse. My Mrs could have told me she was pregnant". Always got to try and find a positive . . .

Right. I think this post has gone on long enough.
Having read this through my family sound like a right bunch of pikeys so I'm off to buy a caravan . .

Joke -

It has been announced that next years shirt sponsor for Tiger Woods will be Tampax.
A spokesman for Tampax said "To sponsor a cunt going through a bad period is exactly what our company is about!"

Good luck all.
I need Mothercare to do a freeroll and sharpish . . .

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Sometimes it makes you wonder . . .

I have played on poker WillHill for about 4 years now and am quite happy with the site, its set up etc and its not too hard.
I get rake back and for the past few months they have had a promotion where you also got a monthly bonus which equated to a % of the rake.
Not being a high volume player its only a few quid but its free money and I like free money.
Anyways this month I got the usual popup at the End of November saying it was continuing in December but no payment so I left it a few days and emailed WillHill.
1st mail - They said they don't have a monthly bonus scheme.
2nd mail - They said they did and I would recieve £71 in 24 hours (Bonus as I was only expecting £20).
3rd email - Back to square 1 and they say they don't do a monthly bonus.

Was really dying to mail back and say "It's your feckin site. How come you don't know your arse from your feckin elbow and what offers you have". The previous payments or rake don't appear on my history so I can't send them previous to make my point and I don't want my bankroll of £1300 frozen should they freeze my account if I call them a bunch of muppets over £20.
Still pisses me off that they don't know what they are doing but they have asked me to do a screenshot if the offer comes up again, which I will, just so they know I'm not trying it on.

Enough moaning for now - GL all

Joke (and I liked this one) -

Zoo keeper says to Paddy "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with him. Would you consider shagging him for £500?"
Paddy replies "I will on 3 conditions; 1st I'm not going to kiss it, 2nd my family must never know and 3rd I'll need a couple of weeks to get the money together!!"

Friday, 4 December 2009

Can't wait . . .

So the World Cup draw has been made and England have got USA (12th June), Algeria (18th June) and Slovenia (23rd June).
Got to be happy with that and we should definately be good for the latter stages but being a Bluenose I'm never confident about much.
Just gutted that I forgot the World Cup when booking my hols for next year as I'm away last week May/ First week June and Last week July/ First week August.
If you can't get to the World Cup itself there's nothing better then being in the sun and watching the games from a bar by the beach.
Littleacornman has given me a few tips for turbo sng's so am going to have a go at some of them over the next few days as I think I'm wasting potential cash time on the deep stacks but we'll see how the variance affects me but thanks to Acorn for that anyways.

Joke -

The 7 dwarfs went to meet the Pope.
"Go on Dopey ask him" chant the other 6.
"Okay" said Dopey "Are there any Nuns in Alaska Sir?"
"Yes there are" said the Pope
"Go on Dopey ask him" urge the other 6.
"Are there any black nuns in Alaska Sir?" asks Dopey
"Yes there are" said the Pope.
"Go on Dopey ask him" . .
Dopey blushed "Are there any midget black Nuns in Alaska?"
"No I don't believe there are" said the Pope.
The other 6 dwarfs leap up and down and shout "Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"

Childish I know lol

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Small profits and I support a decent footie team . . .

Woohoo - Birmingham are unbeaten in 5 and playing some decent football. It looks as though the defence will throw themselves in front of the ball and battle and in Midfield and upfront we are showing some steel and a bit of quality.
With Wigan away followed by West Ham at home, Blackburn at home and Everton away I can't see any reason to stop the run yet but we will have to wait and see. (Positive thoughts from a normally realistic, "we'll get a kick in the nads soon" pessimistic sod).

On the poker front a small profit of £163 for November which keeps things going in the right direction but could do with a decent score in time for the Xmas drinks marathon thats round the corner.

The weekend went well at Towcester, no big price winners, but ended near enough level apart from the alcohol consumed and it was feckin freezin so we went to the pub after the 4th race. A good day out though so will be going there again when the global warming takes place.

GL all

Joke - (Didn't have one so thought I'd post some golf terms a mate mailed me)


A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner

A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Adolf - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A David Trimble - tentative prod

A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water

An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result

A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O.J. Simpson - got away with it

A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Robin Cook - just died on the hill

A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you

A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right

A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A circus tent - a BIG top

An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

. . . . . . and my personal favourite

A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be