Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Fookin Kids . .

Sorry for the length (Haven't had to say that too often if ever),

Neither of my kids had a criminal record until 3 weeks ago and now both will have one.
Eldest (19) decides to "borrow" his Moms car to go to McDonalds. A few problems with this -
1 - He doesn't have a driving licence (therefore no insurance)
2 - He's had 3 pints
3 - His Mom didn't know he was "borrowing" it.
Needless to say he gets pulled (not for speeding, not for driving erratically etc but for it being 1am and avoiding eye contact with the nice policemen driving in the opposite direction).
In short a 12 month ban, £300 fine + costs. The ban could be 8 months if he does an Aquarius course but he didn't have a licence in the 1st place so no point in getting a provisional back early so might as well put the course money towards passing his test.
To cap it his mother had to pay £170 to get the car out the pound they had towed it to.
WP Sir Numbnut.

2nd eldest (16) up for assault and could and should have still not had a record but for his fookin wank solicitor.
Arrived at court early as he needs an adult with him and the first solicitor says that the statements made by the "victims" are all over the place as they can't say who throught the 1st punch and it just reads like it was a typical teenage punchup fuelled by a few drinks. However as he has stated on tape that he punched the other fella twice before it was all over then he might want to consider pleading Guilty and just end up with a 8-12 month referral to Youth Offenders, which when complete, results in no criminal record. (This sounded okay to me as he had already admitted he lamped somebody and he didnt have a mark on him whereas the other lad didn't look too clever so just on photo's alone, in my mind it didn't really matter who started it as the pics would not look good in court).
However when the court broke for lunch his solicitor advised that she was not available in the afternoon and her colleague would be taking over. This fella had a word with Callum and said that the Witness statements were all over the place, contradicting each other, and that he should go not guilty and take his chances. I said that I didn't think it was worth the risk as if found guilty the referral would not be an option but he said that was his advice and Callum took it.
However this now means that he has a 2 day trial with his c0-accused in March so it will be hanging over him/us for another 3 months. TBH Callum wasn't expecting a trial and I ripped the solicitor a new one outside as I said he had just fucked up imo and then he backtracked and said that if we wanted to speak to his colleague and then write to the court to plead guilty it was up to us. Fookin tosspot wanker. It still won't be as easy as just admitting you had a ruck and them letting it go as he has said "not guilty" now so they will not give him the credit for an early guilty plea.

AND to top it all the dopey bollocks has got his girlfriend pregnant. He hasn't had the maturity to tell me yet but his girlfriend told his Mom last week and she told me. If he hasn't got the maturity to tell his Parents about this there is no chance going forward imo.
He's doing a bricklaying apprenticeship, lives with his Mom, and gets £30 EMA grant from college and yet he has told Liz (GF) that he will support her if she wants to have the baby but will not be moving into a council flat as he hasn't had a life yet and has only just left school.
Support a baby on £30 a week????? Wants to have a life????? Grow up Son. It doesn't work like that after the event. FFS.
Mind you after all that my mate said to me that I seemed to be taking it quite calmly.
My reply "It could have been worse. My Mrs could have told me she was pregnant". Always got to try and find a positive . . .

Right. I think this post has gone on long enough.
Having read this through my family sound like a right bunch of pikeys so I'm off to buy a caravan . .

Joke -

It has been announced that next years shirt sponsor for Tiger Woods will be Tampax.
A spokesman for Tampax said "To sponsor a cunt going through a bad period is exactly what our company is about!"

Good luck all.
I need Mothercare to do a freeroll and sharpish . . .


havin_a_laff said...

cripes. it won't help but I know for sure that kind of stuff happens to good kids, not just the bad apples. they just got unlucky. hopefully it will help them grow up faster. really hope they don't find poker. happy xmas.

Yorkshire Pud said...

Jesus mate, sounds like you're going through a rough time with the boys. I have three of them 6, 3 and 8 months and I'm dreading them hitting their teens!

Gavin said...

Cheers both. They are not bad lads, they are just the same as I was at their age, apart from getting a girl in the family way at 16. I was 20, had a job and then bought a house which he is not in a position to do and I was too young even then. I've 2 new horrible looking baubles on my Xmas tree now as well :)

Helraiser said...

Grandad Gavin HO HO HO.

Nevermind soon be christmas:O)

Gavin said...

I might have guessed your comment u fooka lol

Wildcat said...

Hmm, sounds like you'll have to up your poker win rate to get in the extra money which will soon be needed for a variety of reasons ;)

Steve H. said...

I blame the parents really...
You know what the old bill are like and you aint trained your boys to say "No Comment"!!!!

Happy christmas you blue nose fooker and get a copy of Tigers latest book "18 easy holes" in all good bookshops

Gavin said...

Cheers Gents. Like anything else Steve I've trained them in that respect but on this occasion the donut forgot as he thought he'd done nothing the plum :(

Kevin Stevens said...

Jesus fella you’re running worse than Isildur1, hope things improve in the new year.