Friday, 30 January 2009

Weekend footie bet......

Thought I would post this weeks footie bet in the hope it brings me luck. Have not been too brilliant so far this season so will try anything so follow me at your peril.
I have done these on the WillHill half time and full time slips and with 6 folds and 7 folds on each slip stand to win a few bob if it comes in.
There has been no massive research into why these results should happen other than looking at the back of the slip at the leagues while munching my bacon, sos and mushroom sarnie.

Stoke v Man City
Hull v West Brom
Southampton v Swansea - Draw
Wolves v Watford
Cheltenham v MK Dons
Oldham v Swindon
Wycombe v Accrington

Have turned things around for January from a low of -£150 to currently being + £110 and providing I don't throw too much away in drunken Saturday evening play (I give up saying I won't play as I already know I will) then I will be quite happy.

GL all


Man goes to Doctors for a cock extension. Doc suggests a baby elephants trunk stitched on for £3k. Man agrees. 6 weeks later while having dinner with a new woman he feels an unusual stirring in his pants & thinks "This is the night". While chatting over dinner his cock flies out, steals an apple from the table and goes back in his pants. Wow she says "Can you do that again?". He says "My cock can but I don't think my arse can take another apple!!"

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Not running bad atm……

Should have had my second small win of the year but managed to lose a 1/25 chip lead lmfao. (What a fuckin twat!!!)
I was a tad drunk which assisted in me getting to the FT in the first place and got them in aggressively to get heads up but went all in twice which got him to 40k against my 200k and could not win a race against a horse with calipers and athletes foot. Shit way to finish but still got £75 for my £2 but was looking forward to posting a 2nd win for the month/year.

Not complaining though as my WillHill has gone from a low approaching £50 to £250 as it stands and I might be able to play the £5 MTTs in a bit
Also managed to get a top 3 place in a 1800 FTP STT for a $26 token so now need to find a MTT 2moro with 200ish players which seems to be my forte.

GL all

Joke –

Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round
to see him. Mick says 'how you doin?' Paddy says do
us a favour, nip upstairs and get me slippers, me feet
are freezing.'Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous
19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed ..
He says 'your dad's sent me up here to shag the both of you!
They say 'get away with ya.. prove it.'

Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'

Paddy shouts back 'of course both of em,
what's the point of fuckin one?'

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

1st win of 2009.... Relief

Okay so its a small one. Bit of a relief tbh. My WillHill account had gone down to £50ish and I was getting tad nervous though still got $200+ in Full tilt. This is a confidence booster and gives me a good go at the MTT's so gg wp me lol.

WTF do you have to do to take your cash out of Full Tilt. I want to deposit on Titan as they have a good deal I read about. I deposited with no issue but have now registered with Neteller only to find I now need to make a deposit to withdraw. They also needed my Mom's Nans 3rd dogs DNA to prove who I am ffs.

Anyways this is a short and mainly positive post.

GL all....Gav

Joke:- Specially for Joppa..

A couple want to have anal sex but the woman decides to play it safe and seek medical advice first. "Anal sex is perfectly safe" says her Doctor "as long as u take it slow at first, use lots of lubricants and u take care not to get pregnant." Can u get pregnant from anal sex?" the woman asks in horror. "Certainly" replies the Doc " Where do you think Villa fans come from?"

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Good news (family)……and bad (getting royally fucked poker wise)..

Didn’t think things would move so quickly but the administrators found a buyer for the Wife’s company so she is now being paid again.
Not sure atm about the week she was owed but would not think that is the new owners responsibility but we will see. She is happy as Larry whoever the fook he is. Thanks for the comments regarding this.

On the poker front I am having no joy and may need the administrators myself within a month as I am now a fair few quid down for the month and have a £200 roll, so will have to stick to the £2 and £5 MTT’s until I grind a few quid (if I manage to).
I don’t think I’ve turned into a bad player over the past 3 months but it makes you think.
I still love the game so will not be giving up any time soon and tbh think I am playing quite well but the coin flips have been 20 tails when I have been on heads (even when I hit the flop against the odds a fookin flush comes for the enemy).
I think an area that I have to improve though is bluffing. I’m just not doing it and this is a massive leak.

Was going to have a pop at the virtual dealers at the site I use as they take the piss dealing the flop and turn at normal pace and then seem to spend fucking ages sorting through the virtual pack to find the river that suits the opposition. (You even get the chance to type in the river that you know is going to fall before it does in the chat box lol) WTF is that all about.

An example is my QQ all in against AK
Flop 7,3,4 turn 2 river …………………….5 (Why can’t it just flop a fucking A or K and fuck me off without the hope.

As I said I was going to have a pop and put up a picture of a monkey called “shitfuckbastard” to represent said dealer but I could just imagine being sued for libel by one of the virtual donuts and ending up in court opposite a laptop with a voice like Stephen Hawking saying “He upset and defamed me on one of his posts and I have been off with stress and anxiety for 6 months. I was not searching the virtual pack for any particular card but had stopped to concentrate as the player to my left was just finishing me off….” .. Funny how the fucker on his left sucked out on me too.

TBH am getting a bit concerned about my roll now and need to get a win soon.
Tempted to put a few bob on the cartoon racing but my fucking nag would probably fall (has that ever happened in a race at Fuckwit Fields??).

On a positive note UKGatsby’s on fire so I just need to rub him somewhere to transfer his good play to me. (No suggestions thanks and especially not from you Gats). I'd also like to thank Helraiser for some stuff he has sent me which should improve my game.

Good luck all

Joke -

In recent times its been suggested that an apple a day keeps the Doctor away but since all the doctors are now Muslim I find bacon works better!

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Not the best start to 2009....

Unfortunately my Wife has lost her job this week due to the credit crunch but has agreed to work for free to try to help the business find its feet. I fully agree with this as she is investing in her future by trying to help the company out and she has loved working there (Flexibility if our lad is ill and school holidays etc etc)
There are always people worse off than yourself (you only have to read other peoples blogs for this to become obvious) and we are not exactly desolate and have funds for a rainy day (and I think this counts) so we will be okay for a while.

Poker wise this will mean that I will have to be more selective with the games I play within my roll and will have to be at my best and it will be purely a hobby again.
To those of you who play on the same sites as me please give gracefully.

Don't worry I will not be asking for stakage just yet and tbh I've not been exactly profitable the last couple of months so wouldn't expect more than £2.50.

I've never been a negative person anyways so I firmly believe there will be a positive in everything which is why I gamble.

The post has little to do with poker but alot of mine have been general ramblings about life anyways.

Joke :-

A man and his ever nagging Wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the Wife suddenly died. The undertaker said it will cost £5k to ship her home or £500 to bury her here. The Husband said "Ship her home". The undertaker said "But Sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money?" The Husband said "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead.. I can't take that fucking chance!"

Gl all


Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Holding my own.......

At poker.....

I go through different variations of NL like anything at the moment.
I have played MTT's for most of my poker life but due to time restraints changed to DYM's but found that I was not winning a high enough % to make it worthwhile.
I then tried STT and went from Superhot - Supertilt - Supertit to almost Supertramp as it almost killed me off.

I am now mainly playing cash at 10c/25c and have got it back to $250 on Full Tilt.
I think I have going to stick with this until I either get to a roll that I can go up to 25c/50c or just bumble on at the same level. (How much does my roll need to be to play at that level??) I am possibly already playing over roll but don't really want to go any lower.

Will probably stick to this and use my WillHill balance for the MTT's and see how I get on.

£40ish up for the month so far is a better feeling than being down and something to build on.
The cat has even started venturing back into the living room so it must sense my peace from within (either that or its that fookin cold that it thinks "Fook it I'll take my chances, It's warmer than the shed!!).

Anyways a quick questions for the likes of UKGatsby, CalloftheWildcat, Helraisier and any other small stakes personage.
Do you fella's invest in poker training/ poker tracking tools??
I appreciate that if you are going to take the game seriously then it may be invaluable but is it really necessary for the level at which I play?

I read the odd book and subscribe to a couple of mags, Poker Player and Inside Poker as these seem useful and have decent freerolls.

On a different note I have just finished watching the final season of The Wire. If you have not seen it or heard of it you can get a Wikipedia overview here but it has to be one of the best tv series of all time imo.
If you decide to download it give it a couple of episodes to get into it as it is a slow burner.

Cheers all


Joke -

2 Irish couples decide to swap partners for the evening. After 3 hours of fantastic sex Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on?".