Sunday, 9 November 2008

Master mind he is not....

Now normally when one of your kids gets arrested it’s not funny.
However when they have not knowingly done anything wrong and they then make it blindingly obvious they will never make a master criminal anyway it becomes quite funny.
My 15 year old lad was offered and accepted some building work at half term and on his way home from work was arrested for being in a stolen car. He didn’t know it was stolen and I was called in to assist with the interview.
Below is a transcript of sorts:

Mr Plod “Did you discuss the car you were in at all?”
Callum “No”

A little later with no further prompts

Callum “I think he bought it cheap though”
Mr Plod “What did he buy cheap?”
Callum “The car”
Mr Plod “How do you know? I thought you hadn’t discussed it”
Callum “Just guessing”
Mr Plod “Does X have any insurance for the car?”
Callum “I’m not sure but I don’t think he’s got a licence” (Who needs friends like that?)

Mr Plod knew I was dying to tell the pillock to shut up and tbh I thought he was going to ask for 50 other offences to be taken into account (for stealing lollipops off his brothers).

He will be on TV on Britains Dumbest Criminals when he tries to rob a bank but forgets to cut the eye holes out of his balaclava.

Told his Mom to ground him but she said she hadn’t done anything wrong so why should she be punished by having to look at his gormless mug all week. Fair enough I suppose.

On to poker and I’m still losing but am playing better (if that’s supposed to be any consolation). Bankroll down to £850 due to the pub singing fooker staying in X-Factor and losing run but still got enough so no worries there.

Joke:- This is totally politically and everything else incorrect so apologies in advance

Shagged a deaf and dumb girl last night but felt so ashamed I broke all her fingers so she couldn’t tell anyone.

GL all


JoppaRoad said...

def one of your better jokes :) You've stepped it up a level!

Your boy sounds like me when I was about 12. A couple of friends and me had been hanging about our old school and had climbed up onto the roof. We found an unlatched window that led into the toilets so we climbed in egging each other on. We went into the Heads office etc, taking a pound each from some money on the side.

Somehow the police got called but by the time they arrived we had long gone. Next day I am at my mates playing pool and there is a tap at the door - its a couple of police officers. Some busy body neighbour had reported kids messing around in the school grounds and recognised my mate - she called the police. Now they were just following up this call. They said there had been reports of four boys playing up on the roof etc, dangers blah blah blah.

Before my mate could talk I had blurted out all what we had done most of which I don't even think the police were aware of. I just assumed they knew because they had a uniform on - how fckin dumb of me.

The look on my mates face said it all really. Down the police station to be cautioned and grounded for a month. I felt really bad as my mates dad was pretty strict and old school. Apparently he gave me mate a good hidind, belt and all. Lovely

Gavin said...

Cheers for that. I don't think that society today has the same healthy fear of the law that we had in my day :(

Wildcat said...

LOL, the plod must have thought all his Christmasses came at once ;)

would-be said...

very entertaining blog, got u linked up.
I was gonna bet on Daniel to get knocked out as well but luckily ladbrokes didnt offer it online.

how has he survived???

Gavin said...

Thanks Would-be.
Haven't got a clue how he's stayed in mate and last week was a complete fix but thankfully I will not bet on reality shows anymore.