Looks like a decent month . . .

£440 profit for the month which I'll close now as I'm in work at 5am and will not be playing much if at all tomorrow.
Was a bit the worse for wear when I played and did a blog post Saturday. Reckon I went $130 approx down before winning one for $288.
Yesterday just played one for $54 and a couple of KO's and today 2 for 6 KO's and a 2nd.
Admittedly its probably not going to be sustainable but I'll take it tyvm.
Going down to Devon Thursday night til Sunday and though I'll defo be taking the laptop I'll be strung up by my nads if I play too much.
Hope everythings okay with everyone else . .

Joke -

Two women were talking.
"Do you look at your Husbands face when you're having sex?" asked the 1st woman.
"I did once and he looked really angry." Replied the 2nd.
"Why angry?" asked the 1st
"Because he was watching through the window!!"

Not the best I'll admit.

Fold, Call, Raise and . . . .

And the fourth button . . . . . Cunt . .
My win of the other day introduced the button under the guise "Invincible".
You don't see the button. It's like the door to Narnia (remember that?) If not it was like Harry Potter for the older people.
This is where mere mortals get above themselves and try it on against people that haven't got a clue or, as in my case, can,t fold.
Therefore it seems I haven't got a clue


I'm SOTV (Shit On The Villa)
Late edit. Sod the extra button. The above tourney happened after the post which will prob confuse the issue but I don,t know how to move the pic so it,s probably confused the point.

Thanks and goodnight.

Joke -

Moi!!

I got me a new job . . . .

Interviewed at 10:30 and advised at 6pm that the offer letter will be in the post tomorrow. Weeeeeeee.
TBH, even though I always have it within me to make a ricket from time to time, it was an ex-Manager along with the IT Service Centre Director that were interviewing me so I was at a definate advantage as potentially cocking up an hours interview was never going to undo 3 years knowledge of your work.
So back setting up an Out of Hours night shift with working instructions, process and procedures blah blah etc for me.
Can't wait as everyone needs a new challenge from time to time and they've agreed to carry on the existing sponsorship of my PT Foundation Degree.

Anyways Happy Days

Joke of sorts

I hate Spring, my eyes are constantly streaming, sore and itchy and I blame women for this.
If they didn't wear such revealing clothes then they wouldn't need the pepper spray.

GL

Should cement a profit for the month . . . .

Managed a MTT win last night which gives the profit a bit of a boost for the month (approx £300 total).

Having messed about with Rush poker I then changed to the $12+$1 90 player knock out tourneys which I have done okay in as I like the structure and then played the Super Series last night and for once it all fell back into place and, barring 1 very fortunate hand , the hands held up and the flush draws hit etc.

Its not just the profit boost thats a bonus but the fact that I hadn't won a MTT for aaages and I'm hoping the confidence boost leads to more of the same.

Got an interview for the role I mentioned in the last post tomorrow and with a bit of luck and a decent showing by me things could look pretty rosy going forward.

Hope you're all doing well

Gav

Joke -

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

Nothing's ever easy . . . .

After blowing my own trumpet regarding being up $200 playing Rush Poker on FT I quickly donated over half of it back within an hour of publishing the post. $60 when the all in post flop with me with top straight and him with 2 pair which filled for his house on the river and the other $40+ playing like a cock because of the aforementioned hand.
Still going to play it though and am planning to use the roll which is now just over $200 for over the next 3 days while I'm off work watching the Cheltenham festival. Will be having a few beers this arvo and will no doubt be taking risks later when my head thinks chasing hands is a cracking idea. Will try not to but its kind of inevitable.
Really looking forward to a relaxing couple of days and as my cars booked in at a mates garage to have a new cam, head skimmed and a service until Friday afternoon it seems a good excuse for a beer though I've also got to finish a couple of assignments.

On the work front my firm has picked up a new contract for the Environment Agency looking after their IT and I've decided to go for a role on it. Having worked on the current contract for 4 years I feel I'm stagnating and the Service Centre looks too top heavy with gaffers so there's nowhere to go. Historically if you are in at the start of a contract and hit the ground running it's a good opportunity to show what you can do and kick on so I'm hoping I can get on it.
I've been told that I've been earmarked to look after the Out of Hours team again as I set one up on the current contract so I'm hoping I don't fook up the assessment day. No ale or poker the night before that believe me.
Anyways enough wittering about work.

Will be taking up the Bet365 offer of a free bet if you back winners over 4/1 on Channel4 races (funnily enough the bookie in the local doesn't do any such offers) and one I will be backing is Kalahari King so I'd better go and find my lucky pants.

Also as BurnleyMik has put on his post sign up for this petition if you are pissed off with rising fuel prices

Joke -

Man goes to the Docs and says "I've been shagging the Wife for 10 years now and she's getting a bit loose. Is there anything you can suggest to tighten her up abit?"
"Well" says the Doc, "This is a bit of a taboo subject but have you tried going up the other hole?"
The fella replies "WHAT? And risk getting her pregnant!"

In a Rush . . . .

The break from poker didn't last long but I've just been playing Rush in half hour slots and it's made me $200 this week at 10/25.
I know purists will say its not real poker but it's good to play with the freedom that I'm not up against tracking software (at least I don't think I am) as the game is too quick and I'm enjoying being aggressive though I tend to win $40 and then donate $30 back at times due to set miners etc.
I'm really enjoying it though as I'm not playing for hours at a time and only when I feel like it.

The footie challenge took a backward step with both bets turned over but have 2 bets left to try and rescue it.

Only working Mon/Tue this week and then have 3 days off for Cheltenham. Not going as I need all the cash I can get at the moment but with Wednesday and Friday in the local with the resident bookie and Thursday finishing a couple of assignments I am really looking forward to it.

Thats it for now. Good luck all with the pokerage and general gamblings.

Joke -

My girlfriend said I couldn't multi-task so I decided to prove her wrong.

Having a piss while recieving a blow job probably wasn't the best way to do it!!

Start of footie challenge . . .

I have selected 2 x £5 footie bets this weekend to start my challenge (1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday).

Saturdays picks are -
Spurs - 4/9
Northampton - 4/11
Rushden - 4/9
Lyon - 4/11
AEK Athens - 1/2
Braga - 4/9

£5 returns £42

Sundays are -
Barca - 2/5
AC Milan 4/11
Kaiserslauten - 4/9
Feyenoord - 2/5
Sporting Lisbon - 4/7
Bursaspor - 4/9

£5 returns £44

Lets hope it gets off to a winning start as my roll is left with a tenner to bail me out.
GL on the felt. I'm still playing a bit but closing down when I lose interest for a change

Saturday edit - Lyon fookers - footies rigged lol
Sunday edit - That ones gone up the wall as well. £10 left

Joke -

Man at chemist says "I need poison!"
Chemist replies "I'm sorry I can't sell you that."
Fella shows him his marriage certificate.
Chemist says "I'm sorry Sir. I didn't realise you had a prescription!"

If it can be done at poker . . . . .

It should be possible on the footie.

There have been a few challenges set and achieved turning a few dollars into $10k on the poker front but I'm going to have a go with gambling on the footie.Poker is going nowhere at the moment and tbh thats probably through boredom resulting in bad play and I'm bored of playing and ending up level. A break will do me good I reckon.So, even though I've left it late for this season, I'm going to set myself a challenge of turning £20 into over £1k (initially) betting on the footie.

My plan is that the £20 will give me 4 goes at starting with a fiver as this is at least involving a form of BRM.
I plan to back 6 teams at a time at roughly 1/2 prices which will return approx 10/1.
If the bet wins I then split the winnings in 2 so that I can have to goes at the next level and so on.

I could still do with more cash but would rather spend a few evenings glancing at livescore.com than grinding DYM for f*%k all due to boredom.
It might fall flat but I'll post the bets before the relevent kick-off times and will back the full European/Worldwide coupons on WillHill.
I'll probably be back in love with Poker within a week but this just sounds easier to me. (Can't be though or we'd all be at it).

Just a question but how can that muppet Sepp Blatter say there is no need for goal line technology in a multi-million pound game like football when it is proving invaluable in tennis and cricket. Soooo far behind the times he probably still thinks we play with a pigs bladder. Obv I'm not bitter that Blues had a goal ruled out even though it was blatantly over the line against Pompey in the cup.

Oh well GL all.

Joke -

A woman, pregnant with triplets, was caught in the crossfire at a bank robbery and shot 3 times in the stomach. The doctors decided it was too risky to operate and chose to leave the bullets in.

16 years later one of the girl triplets went crying to her Mum. She asked her what was wrong. "I was peeing and a bullet came out" so her Mom told her what had happened 16 years earlier.

A couple of days later the same thing happened to the other girl triplet so her Mom told her the story about the bank robbery.

The day after the boy triplet went crying to his Mother. "Let me guess" she said "You were peeing and a bullet came out".

"No" said the boy "I was having a wank and I think I shot the dog!!"

Well I found it interesting . . .

Got shown this at Uni last night and though its a couple of years out of date it just shows how much the world is changing and we might not notice half of it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUMf7FWGdCw

Joke -

Just been to the Doctors and he said I was paranoid . . . Well, he didn't actually say that but it's what the bastard was thinking!!